NIGHT AT THE RACES! The early bird Black Friday specials begin tonight: Thanksgiving »
I am half inclined to not care about this Black Friday mayhem.. To a big degree, throughout my teenage and adult life, Thanksgiving night has been boring. Prior to my married and fatherhood days, friends and I would take to the movie theaters and then whatever 24/7 restaurant still served on Thanksgiving and burn up time.. It was awfully dull. Same often went for Christmas night, too. So I certainly get the idea that people just want to do something and get out of a house—especially if they had it up to their throbbing temples with family brouhahas..
But as far as the shopping? It’s insane to ignite any fire in my rear end to go to a mall or Walmart tonight into tomorrow morning. There will be trampling. Mayhem. Near riots. Shootings. Punches. Fights. Screaming.
Just tonight, while getting a last minute pie on our way to Thanksgiving dinner, we stopped at a Walmart since they were the only slave store still open forcing their employees to miss valuable time with family in exchange for hours behind a cash register. The pre-Black Friday sales were already being planned, with plastic wrap around the things we weren’t allowed to see or take.. There were cattle-herding-type metal gates around the store.. there were taped markers on the floor where people were to form lines.. and there were actually store workers screaming at me, my wife, and son, because we entered on the wrong side of the cattle prodding gates..
But we got our pie..
I will be monitoring the news outlets tomorrow to see what happens in the shopping outlets..
There may be blood. We know that.
But the deals!
Commerce!
Credit!
Spend until your can’t lend..
Can’t tell you’re in hell..
Your shopping plaza treats you so well.
Enjoy your races to the slaughter tomorrow. Your cash will be dispensed as fast as you spend it.
Or wait, we are cashless now.
So strap in and swipe away..
It’s Black Friday and the turkey has gone cold.
Turkeys.
Cold turkeys.
